I’ve admitted before in my Writer’s Soul series that I’m not the opening up and sharing kind of person. I created Baring My Writer’s Soul to help me get over that as well as many of the anxieties I have about writing. Well, it worked until it didn’t. Now I find myself back at the beginning of my own series, reading Part 1, and trying to figure out how I derailed myself yet again.
I’ll take responsibility for my derailment when what I really want to say is that I allowed it to happen. I could even pinpoint the exact moment it happened three days before Christmas of 2016. Instead, I’ll return to the methods that had been working for me up until I jumped the tracks and seek fresh methods for dealing with the new worries that have sneaked into my life.
I’ll start by making peace with all the bad, whether real or perceived, that occurred up to this point for it’s the only way I’m going move forward. Even as I do this, I know the negative thoughts will rear their ugly heads to remind me that the sky is falling in my world and that this never happens to anyone else. It would be so wonderful if I could predict when this is going to happen, but since I can’t, I’ll keep stockpiling my Writer’s Toolbox with the tools and supplies I need to move past the bad.
Another thing I’ll stop doing is thinking so much. I overanalyze until I’ve worked myself into a tizzy which dumps me into the middle of comparing myself to others, and we all know that’s the death of joy. I must learn to content myself with not knowing all the answers right now, all at once, or ever. Giving myself a reasonable amount of time to make it back to a healthy writing me is also essential. This is a tricky one for me, and I must admit that, but I must also not fall into the trap of believing that I don’t have time to get it right.
The biggest issue I’ll need to deal with in my writing life is one that I’ve been working up to: rejection. All writers face it at some point, but we are also aware that knowing this doesn’t make it one whit easier. The first ones were the hardest, but then I leveled out for a while and took them in stride. At the end of last year when my submission tracking spreadsheet began to pile up with Nos and No Responses, I pushed my writing muse off a high mental bridge and jumped in after her. Together we wallowed in the river of grief.
The best way I have found to deal with rejection is to remember that it is not a reflection on who I am, what I have written, or how I present myself and my writing. Rejection does not alter the merit of my writing or me. People get turned down all the time for various reasons, and it has nothing to do with their worth. Furthermore, rejection is not a valid excuse for quitting. Just like I kept on looking for the perfect man before I met and married my husband, so will I continue searching for the best agent to represent my work. I feel bad for the ones who passed me up, but I don’t want someone in my life who isn’t thrilled just thinking about me and all that I have to offer. That line of thinking landed me an amazing man, and I trust it will connect me with a terrific agent.
So, as I sift through the past Writer’s Soul posts, I’ll keep in mind that all rejection is just re-direction and begin plotting a new path to happiness as I continue writing. I have to do this for myself because my happiness is dependent on me and no one else is going to do it for me.
Remember: Write Happy!