Tag Archives: Adonai

Say My Name, Say My Name

June 5, 2023 By in Lightning Juice Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

After reading this week’s Torah portion, Naso, I continued my studies by reading Rabbi Jonathan Sacks’s essays found in his book series Covenant & Conversation, Numbers: The Wilderness Years. The essay What Counts? discussed the census at the beginning of the book of Numbers, B’midbar in Hebrew.

As always when reading Rabbi Sacks’s works, they are so infused with a passion for Torah and a love of Hashem that I must often remind myself that he passed on. I cannot believe this brilliant man is gone. Fortunately, and with much gratitude to Adonai, the Rabbi’s works live on.

One point Rabbi Sacks made in this essay was the importance of the individual to Hashem. He quoted one of my favorite Psalms (147:4) which says that Adonai “counts the number of the stars and calls them each by name.” He went on to say:

A name is a marker of uniqueness. Collective nouns group things together; proper names distinguish them as individuals. Only what we value do we name. God gives even the stars their names. All the more so does this apply to human beings, on whom He has set His image. When God calls, He calls our name, to which the reply is simply, “Hineni,” “Here I am.”

And that’s when it hit me.

Hebrew is an amazing language with a message for all humanity encoded into the very letters themselves. Learning to read and speak Hebrew will only enhance one’s Biblical studies, so I strongly encourage digging in as soon as possible. But this time, English came through, and not just the words but a smidgeon of punctuation, too.

What first leapt off the page at me was the fact that with the simple addition of a comma, one could render the response, “Here, I am,” or even better, “Here, I AM.” The focus is taken off the person and placed with much respect on Adonai Himself. The reply acknowledges Him by name in the same way a student might say, “Here, Mrs. Smith” when being called on by a teacher or other authority figure.

The second way I saw and understood the reply “Here I am” was as a bridge between myself and our Father, Avinu, who is also our King, Malkeinu. This perspective enabled me to see that while Adonai the King often seems to be over there because He is so vast, there is nothing else, and “in Him we live and move and exist” (CJB), Adonai the Father is also right here because He breathed into humanity, and I am a living soul. In other words, what many call the divine spark resides within me.

It’s as if Adonai said, “There I AM, here I AM, and everywhere in between I AM because where could you possibly go that I AM not?” We are in Hashem, and He is in us. Please do not hear me say that I am in any way equal to Adonai; I am merely a conduit through whom He speaks. But it is because He is in me that I, created in His image, can answer “Here I am” knowing that “here He is.”

Lastly, as Rabbi Sacks mentioned in a footnote included in the passage above, when Hashem calls our name, He often does so twice. It is done as an expression of love, an endearment. My favorite instance of this is when Yeshua spoke Martha’s name twice thus elevating this humble woman to the level of the patriarchs. But that’s a discussion for another time.

May Adonai call on you, and when He does, may you remember to simply say, “Here I am.”

Avinu, Malkeinu

(I recommend watching the link above in the Brave browser to avoid advertisements.)

~~~

Sacks, Jonathan. “What Counts?” Numbers, The Wilderness Years, First ed., Maggid Books & The Orthodox Union, New Milford, CT, 2017, pp. 76–77.

Quotation Station

December 30, 2022 By in Quotation Station, Writing Toolbox Tags: , , , Leave a comment

Shabbat Shalom to artists everywhere.

As I wish you rest and peace for the last time this year, may I also wish you abundant blessing for the year to come. Remember, to create is to imitate Adonai, so make sure your efforts reflect well on the One who gave you your ability to create in the first place.

Walk on the Water

November 28, 2022 By in Books, Movies & Music Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I have said before that I come late to the party where TV shows and movies were concerned. The second season of The Chosen has been out for some time, but I just recently binge-watched all eight episodes. I did not write a review of the first season because I thought Dallas Jenkins, et al., did a decent job of setting the stage. A few creative liberties were taken, but all in all, I gave those involved high marks for producing a series without political and/or social agendas that the entire family could watch.

Season Two of The Chosen followed this line of acceptable family viewing but added lots of emotion to the scenes. I don’t believe a single episode occurred without tears spilling over or at least glistening eyes. To counterbalance all the heartfelt sentiment taking place, the disciples bickered much more in Season Two, which I found a little unsettling.

I enjoyed the backstory created for the character Simon the Zealot the most, especially when his story crossed over to the man at the pool of Bethesda. Nathaniel’s storyline was also well done, and the ruined architectural project that led him to be sitting under the tree where Jesus saw him was a nice touch.

The issue of backsliding was handled appropriately within Mary’s story, but several other concerns, the type that often come up among believers, took place in conversations among multiple characters. While these types of conversations could take place, on the written page they would be criticized as info dumps. I thought they could have been presented more realistically in the show so they would not feel so contrived.

I did not care for the Torah bashing that I picked up on throughout Season Two. The Sabbath and dietary rules were the targets in this season, but then they always are when presented from a mainstream Christian perspective. I’m going to proceed with caution here because if one knows the truth, then one would have seen that everything Jesus said was in keeping with that truth. But if one falls on the “Torah is done away with” side, that viewer could easily, and quite mistakenly, have linked it to the disciples’ comments about how hard it is to keep all the rules and to be Jewish and come away more firmly entrenched in wrong thinking.

The scene that caused me the most concern was when Jesus was away, and the disciples were sitting around a campfire admitting that they broke certain rules. Again, the Sabbath and the dietary rules were on the chopping block. The first mistake the writers made was in presenting Torah and oral traditions as of the same importance, or maybe the show’s creators are ignorant of the difference. This is painfully evident in the “I ate meat and cheese” portion of the disciples’ conversation, and the error was that no distinction between Torah and oral traditions was made. I would think the disciples would have been cognizant of this, and if not, what a great opportunity to clear this up.

The second mistake I believe this portion of the episode made was the breaking of an actual Torah command to not eat pork. It was presented as if the event took place in the disciple’s childhood, but as an adult, he and the others acted immature and giggled about it. The commandment-breaking disciple went on to say how delicious the pork was, and the others were in awe of what he had done.

The last embarrassing portion of the campfire scene involved cleaning up a mess on the Sabbath. It was so ridiculously in error due to what can only be an overwhelming lack of understanding about Torah that I hesitate to mention what the mess was, which was actually quite juvenile in the writer’s choice of messes.

The worst thing about this whole scene was that I did not see an ounce of repentance displayed by the characters portraying the disciples. There was no mention of keeping Adonai’s commands out of obedience and love for Him, no mention of His love for us in His commands, and certainly no depiction of the freedom they bring to one’s life.

If I have the opportunity to watch The Chosen for free, I probably will, but it will be with my eyes wide open in case the anti-Torah message becomes blatant. And if I never view another episode, well that’s fine, too, because I know where I can enjoy all the stories in their entirety presented in truth. I will miss decent entertainment, but I cannot surrender truth for pleasure.

Soul Talk

October 17, 2022 By in Writing Advice, Writing Toolbox Tags: , , , 4 Comments

I’d like to apologize to my followers for not posting anything new in about three weeks. It’s been a very strange time for me as I dealt with some health issues and the blessed busyness of the fall Appointed Times.

During the past weeks, one thought has been at the forefront of my mind, and I’d like to share it not only as a reminder for myself, but because someone else out there may need to hear it:

Walk away from that which does not feed your soul.

It sounds so simple on the surface, but you would be amazed how much garbage we allow to become entwined in our lives. I’ll never forget my first lesson in how the secular almost worked its way soul deep.

Please know that I’m not the type of person who looks for the bad in everything. Still, it took three tries for me to get a seemingly harmless situation out of my life.

Several years ago, I was invited to join a group with whom I shared a similar interest. It was a truly thoughtful gesture that I gladly and appreciatively accepted. Everything was great for quite a while, and the best part was that it was an all-female group, so naturally the conversation turned to lots of sharing about subjects other than our similar interest. I would have preferred more focused sessions, but since I was a fringe guest trying to fit in, I rolled with it.

But occasionally, the personal tidbits included things that were not only unrelated to our similar interest, but they were also confidences I did not want to carry for people with whom I did not share a connection beyond our purpose for attending the group. I felt very uncomfortable, and I started to see a negative theme emerging, one for which I did not have a label at the time.

And then the text that ended it all arrived one day.

It included a hashtag that literally made me flinch. It was just so unexpected that it had to have been made in jest. Just to make sure, I mentioned it to my mother because I still run things by my mom. She expressed much concern and suggested I politely bow out.

Which I didn’t because it’s my mom, and I thought she was overreacting.

So, I sat on the issue until I casually brought it up to two friends whose opinions I also trust. Their reaction was on par with a nuclear explosion. I was told—yes, told—to get out of that group for valid reasons upon which they expounded with love and not a little passion. I was stunned, and, I admit, I felt like an idiot.

But I’m so slick that I thought I’d just take a break, which I stated in the parting e-mail I sent to the other members. I said I was going to pursue other things and that my life was going in a different direction. I was wished well, and that was that.

Or so I thought.

I had every intention of rejoining the group after a couple months, and I planned on maintaining a connection via the group’s Facebook page. Adonai had other plans for me. I’d been told twice by three different people of the potential dangers, and still I thought I could fly under Adonai’s radar.

What finally got through to me was being immediately deleted from the Facebook group. While it hurt on the surface, it was the one rap on the head that made me understand in my heart that there was no foundation with what I’d been involved. I heard Adonai tell me, “I don’t want you there. You are not going back.”

I realized I’d been lying to myself about the other things I said I was going to pursue. Things of a much deeper, lasting nature. I felt so convicted that I took the different path that, for a short time, seemed as if it routed me away from my interest and, in truth, landed me right back where I longed to be with a better understanding of how to pursue my desires.

I wish the members of the group well, and I hope they achieve real success in every aspect of their lives. I certainly bear them no ill will. There’s no reason to, especially since I can look back and see how far I’ve come by walking through the doors Adonai has opened for me instead of banging on the ones He closed.

What’s Going On?

September 12, 2022 By in Lightning Juice Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve read a lot of encouraging articles and essays on how to handle bad situations in our lives, and the first thing that always comes through is how calm and enlightened the author was. What I’ve had to remind myself after reading such a piece was that, most likely, when the author wrote, it was from a place of healing resulting in an after-the-fact relaying of the tale.

If you forget this while reading what should be encouraging words, you may come away believing the writer was unsympathetic, unempathetic, and a real know-it-all busybody who never again suffered the way you did or are. That simply isn’t true.

Just because someone overcame a trial and/or testing in his or her life and was able to share it doesn’t mean he or she won’t be down again. In fact, once a person overcomes, there is often barely a moment to catch one’s breath before another attack comes. But this is not the crisis we may believe it is.

Keep in mind that a way through has been made for us. Yes, a way through, not out. The text I’m referencing is often poorly translated to the detriment of many. Not only has the trial or testing been brought to you, or you to it, but it is for your betterment that you’re going through it.

I know that sometimes bad things happen that are simply an evil event, but even then, you’ll not be left without assistance, if you truly want it.

But let’s return to where you may be now or have been in the past. Ask yourself, “What am I learning/did I learn?” If nothing, well, expect to repeat the lesson until you succeed. But if you did learn something, don’t keep it to yourself. From that place of healing, and maybe even from a place of hurting if you’re still going through it, you can move forward by using it to help others.

It sounds so simple when written here, but how many times have we allowed our shame to silence us or believed a negative event was for us alone because we were embarrassed or didn’t want to burden anyone with it? Stop doing that.

While we remember our moments of weakness, we do not allow them to define us. This is done by deep self-examination that should result in a truthful admission of wanting to grow out of and beyond the bad moments in our lives. But again, you must want this.

Society today would have you wallow in your misery at the least and parade your dysfunction at the worst. This is not Adonai’s plan for you. You are better than that, so do not allow yourself to become less than you have to ability to be. You were created for greatness.

Sounds so easy, right? Just jump up, act as if nothing is wrong, plaster on a smile, and whistle a happy tune!

Reality is more often open your eyes, take a deep slow breath, let the tears flow as you put your feet on the ground, and push off into another day. One step at a time. But do it.

Imagine being so unhappy with your surroundings that you decide to take a vacation. You stand up, take one step off your porch, and become even more disgusted, maybe even discouraged and/or enraged, that after taking a single step you didn’t arrive at the beach, the mountains, or wherever would make you feel good again.

Ridiculous, right? And yet, that’s exactly what so many people do in their walk of life when things go wrong. “I tried, and it didn’t work,” they complain to those encouraging them.

How about taking that step toward packing (planning), and getting in your car (moving), and driving to your ideal destination with a few rest stops along the way? Please see that life itself if a process and so isn’t the path to healing.

And yes, it’s going hurt. Consider the beneficial invasiveness that is hip surgery. I watched my own dear mother, who never cried in agony pre-surgery, experience emotional and physical pain post-surgery because healing hurts. She wasn’t permitted to sit until the aching stopped or the inflammation disappeared. She had to move from day one and attend therapy before she could fully wrap her head around what had occurred.

As cruel as it may sound, this is exactly how Adonai works in our lives, especially when something is horribly wrong within. He’ll remove it, and you’re going to hurt during the healing. Again, as hard as it is, it’s for your benefit and quite possibly someone else’s, too.

Consider my experience with thyroid cancer. I would never wish that on anyone but is it only through my experience that I was able to counsel two other people with truth about what they were going through. This is why we must come together as a community. I may have the words you need to hear, and you may have the answer I’ve been looking for.

Do not allow the evil, bad, wrong things in your life to galvanize you against revealing what is occurring to you. Do not be afraid or ashamed. Reach out to those who are part of your community. Seek assistance from wise, older people. Get up and fight. And when you cannot even fight, at least stand until you are able to pick up your sword, take a forward step, and re-engage in the battle. I promise, you will not be left alone or defenseless in your misery.

This post comes to you after almost a week of wrestling with something I still cannot define. But since I’m determined to not let it sidetrack me, I’ve turned it into an article, thus using what was meant for evil to be used for good.

If you’re able, please share a time when you overcame. You never know who may need to hear exactly what you have to say.

If you have comments or questions regarding my post, the comments section is open to you, too. Let’s have a conversation.

Holy Macaroni…and Cheese

December 13, 2017 By in Lightning Juice Tags: , , , , , , 5 Comments

I love the craziness that is planning for Hanukkah, especially the food.  Traditionally, fried foods are consumed as part of the commemoration of the Maccabees not having enough oil for the menorah which miraculously burned for eight nights despite the small quantity.  Why fried foods you ask?  Because it’s fried in oil.  Get the connection?

We’ve tried an all-fried or mostly fried menu in the past, and our stomachs lived to regret it.  There are, however, many delicious recipes one can make for Hanukkah that aren’t fried.  They also probably aren’t traditional, and may raise a few eyebrows, but good eating is part of what it’s all about for us, and Adonai has blessed us richly!

So don’t laugh when I tell you the Gibson household will be dining on my homemade macaroni and cheese for Hanukkah tonight.  It’s so rich and cheesy that it’s almost sinful.  Fear not, we pray over it before eating to counterbalance that last point.

HL’s Homemade Macaroni & Cheese

1 – 1 lb. box of elbow macaroni

½ c (1 stick) unsalted butter

½ c all-purpose flour

4 c whole milk

3 – 8 oz. blocks of cheese, shredded

Salt and pepper to taste

½ – 1 t dry mustard, optional

Side note:  I start with blocks of cheese over pre-shredded because it’s creamier.  The pre-shredded stuff always seems dry to me.  Also, I suspect the quantity isn’t exactly what the packaging says.  You’ll want at least six cups of cheese, however, I’ve found that a little more never hurts which is another reason I prefer blocks of cheese.

When choosing cheeses, I like to include at least one orange cheese to make it look like traditional, American mac-n-cheese.  However, an all-white version is just as tasty and visually pleasing.

Consider mild, sharp, or extra sharp orange cheddars, NY white cheddar, mozzarella, Gruyère, Swiss, Monterrey Jack, Colby-Jack, Longhorn, etc.  I know some of these are considered to be the same, but I’ve found subtle taste differences that make choosing half the fun.

Recipe:

Preheat your oven to 400°.

Cook the macaroni according to package instructions until al dente.  Drain thoroughly as macaroni holds a lot of water in the crook of the elbow.  While the macaroni is draining, use the hot pot you cooked it in to melt the butter over a low heat.  Add the flour and whisk until smooth.  Cook for one minute and do not let it burn.

Slowly add the milk, whisking thoroughly, and cook for another minute over medium heat.  Add all but a half cup of the cheese by handfuls, stirring after each addition.  Continue cooking until the cheese melts and becomes stringy.  Not all the cheese may melt, but this is acceptable.

Add the drained macaroni to the mixture and stir to coat.  Carefully pour the mixture into a well-greased 9 x 13 glass baking dish.  (Do not panic if it seems soupy.  The extra liquid will be absorbed and make the mac-n-cheese creamy.)  Top with the last half cup of cheese.  Bake at 400° for 25 minutes or until the cheese on the top browns and bubbles.  Let it sit for ten minutes before serving.

Options:

I’ve chosen all Italian cheeses, added ½ – 1 T of Italian seasoning, grilled chicken, and topped  with slices of provolone.

Bread crumbs tossed with parmesan cheese is also a delicious topper.

Uncured turkey bacon, cooked and diced, tastes wonderful stirred in.  We use Applegate.

Sukkah Like a Pro

October 9, 2017 By in Lightning Juice Tags: , , , , , , , , 8 Comments

There’s nothing to make you realize you stink at sukkahs quite like dining in the sukkah of people who have been doing it for years.  Imagine the cringe I felt in my heart as I approached the home of our friends, Dan and Valeri Remark, who, you will recall, also put on one prodigious Passover this past printemps.  But please don’t think for one minute that we weren’t made to feel extremely welcome or that we didn’t enjoy ourselves.

Still, I have to laugh at myself and the thoughts running through my mind as I walked toward the Remarks’ home.  Things like…oh, they have tiki torches lit…how charming…is that wisteria growing over the sukkah frame…please don’t tell me they trained wisteria to grow over the frame…of course they have wisteria growing over the frame—Dan and Valeri are awesome…oh, it’s branches of butterfly bush…yeah, that’s not any less gorgeous.

And don’t get me started on Valeri’s table.  In a word:  Wow.  Each place setting had a different yet perfectly coordinated bowl and plate, there was an eclectic mixture of wine glasses, and candelabras from Don Drumm Studio & Gallery graced the table.  For just a touch of whimsy, chili pepper and shotgun shell lights were strung beneath the branches adding to the glow from the candles.

We dined on Dan’s homemade chicken soup.  Other guests brought cucumber salad and challah bread .  My contribution was a cheeseball and assorted crackers.  I’ve provided my recipe below.  Dessert was extra special because we celebrated the fourth birthday of Dan and Valeri’s grandson, Roman, with a chocolate cake with whipped icing.

My thoughts regarding our soggy sukkah back home (it’s been a very rainy Sukkot this year)  were allayed by stories Dan and Valeri shared with us on their first attempts toward keeping the moedim (appointed times).  We may be eating off a card table and a too-small teak table from a patio set, but our hearts and our motives are in the right place.  As I said before, there is always room for growth with Adonai.

Pineapple Cheese Ball

1 – 8 oz. bar of cream cheese, softened

1 T sweet onion, finely diced

½ c. crushed pineapple, thoroughly drained

1 t sea salt

2 T green pepper, finely diced

1 c whole pecans

Place the pecans on a baking sheet and toast at 400° F for exactly five minutes.  Pecans toast quickly, so set an accurate timer.  Set aside to cool for later used.  Drain the crushed pineapple in a fine mesh sieve or colander with small holes and press out the excess liquid with the back of a large spoon.  Place the softened cream cheese, onion, green pepper, drained pineapple, and salt in a mixing bowl and combine thoroughly.  Use a spatula to form into a ball.  Coarsely chop the pecans and spread them in a neat pile on a cutting board.  Roll the cheese ball in the nuts, gently patting them in when necessary, until the entire cheese ball is covered.  A spatula helps with this process.  Serve with assorted crackers.

Enjoy!

The Sukkah Experiment

October 4, 2017 By in Lightning Juice Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Less than twenty-four hours to Sukkot, and I have no sukkah.  What I have is a cabana frame with no way to attach the Chinese silver grass (and no promise the frame will support the weight) and no way to affix the sheets I plan on using as curtains.  Oh, I also have a mother who says, “You know I like things elaborate,” and “I just ran out of time to make the curtains.”  Funny how we’re back to using the sheets I suggested in the first place and she dismissed as hillbilly.

This is round two of building a sukkah for the Gibson Family.  You’ll recall last year’s efforts (Learning Curve) were redneck at best.  We’ve come a long way since then, and we’ve learned a few things.  Such as sukkahs need four walls and branches still attached to the tree don’t count.  Still, we did our best, and I truly believe Adonai was honored by our efforts.  This year, I’m thinking He might be grading on a tougher curve, and we’re getting points checked off for lack of preparedness.

You see, I had this all planned out on Monday when Mom and I went to buy the PVC pipe, three-way elbows, and the shower curtain clips.  We were on our way to Home Depot and ended up everywhere except Home Depot.  I could have had this finished Monday evening and been peacefully admiring my sukkah in anticipation of sundown Wednesday.  Instead, I’m anticipating watching my mother weave paracord around the top of the frame (at minus five-foot-short, I have no idea how she’s going to reach the top of the ten-foot-plus, peaked cabana frame) probably while standing on a step ladder (I’m not sure we own one anymore) placed on uneven ground.  I’m having flashbacks to Mom and Dad fighting over the set-up of…well, just about everything.

And the grasses still need cut down.  With a reciprocating saw.  I know we own one of those, but I have absolutely no idea what it looks like or where it is.  Dad is supposed to help me with this, but then I wonder who will watch Mom while she’s weaving paracord on a ladder?  This is not going well.  At least Dad should be sufficiently occupied cutting grasses so as not to pick a fight with Mom.  And nobody better pick a fight with me because I have a headache already.  Is it too early in the day for a glass of bourbon?

Here’s the kicker:  we have until sundown this evening to complete this, except Mom wants to eats dinner in the sukkah as a family.  My husband, William, leaves for work at 3:30 PM.  So, we have roughly four and a half hours to get this thing ready.  I’m thinking we should have completed the sukkah today, enjoyed some coffee, tea, and cake in it, and then tomorrow when husband’s vacation starts, enjoy dinner as a family.  Am I the only person who sees this spiraling out of control?

Don’t even get me started on dinner.  Mom asked what I planned on making for the first evening.  This is code for “I’m buying the cabana frame, so you make dinner.”  Not a problem at all.  Really.  I figured we’d have the sukkah up by Monday evening anyhow, so I’d be free to prepare food.  Then she texts me with a picture of the marinara sauce she’s making for dinner.  I hadn’t even suggested a menu, and already she nixed it.  Again, not a problem.  We like marinara over spaghetti, and I have back-up sauce in case our teenager snarls his nose at it.

It’s anyone’s guess how this is going to go off.  I know there are a few details we still aren’t going to get right, but like life in general, Adonai gives us time to grow.  It’s anyone’s guess whether it’s His voice or mother’s in my head saying, “Have a little faith.”

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