Today’s The Weight of Words is one I see botched on social media (between confident and confidant) and in writing (between confidant and confidante).  By now you probably think your eyes are playing tricks on you, so allow me to expound with definitions to assist with choosing the correct word.

Confident:

feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured

                                He was a confident, assertive person.

feeling or showing certainty about something

She was confident she had made the correct decision.

Confidant:

a person with whom one shares a secret or private matter, trusting them not to repeat it to others

George trusted his brother as the perfect confidant since Ralph had never betrayed his secrets before.

Confidante:

a person with whom one shares a secret or private matter, trusting them not to repeat it to others

Did you notice there is no difference between the definitions of confidant without the E and with the E?  Here’s why:  strict grammarians reserve confidant for males and confidante for females.

This may not be a big issue in writing today where so many rules are often thrown to the wind, but for someone writing historical fiction, especially if the passage is a letter wherein the word is used, how much more realistic would it be to use the proper spelling of the word?  Besides, who wouldn’t want to expand their knowledge of words, definitions, and spellings with such useful tips as those provided above?

Now for the monkey wrench that is the English language:  the archaic definition of confident (spelled with an E) is confidant (spelled with an A, see above definition).  You gotta love second, third, and archaic definitions!  My advice is to stick with the first three so as not to confuse yourself.