I’d like to apologize to my followers for not posting anything new in about three weeks. It’s been a very strange time for me as I dealt with some health issues and the blessed busyness of the fall Appointed Times.
During the past weeks, one thought has been at the forefront of my mind, and I’d like to share it not only as a reminder for myself, but because someone else out there may need to hear it:
Walk away from that which does not feed your soul.
It sounds so simple on the surface, but you would be amazed how much garbage we allow to become entwined in our lives. I’ll never forget my first lesson in how the secular almost worked its way soul deep.
Please know that I’m not the type of person who looks for the bad in everything. Still, it took three tries for me to get a seemingly harmless situation out of my life.
Several years ago, I was invited to join a group with whom I shared a similar interest. It was a truly thoughtful gesture that I gladly and appreciatively accepted. Everything was great for quite a while, and the best part was that it was an all-female group, so naturally the conversation turned to lots of sharing about subjects other than our similar interest. I would have preferred more focused sessions, but since I was a fringe guest trying to fit in, I rolled with it.
But occasionally, the personal tidbits included things that were not only unrelated to our similar interest, but they were also confidences I did not want to carry for people with whom I did not share a connection beyond our purpose for attending the group. I felt very uncomfortable, and I started to see a negative theme emerging, one for which I did not have a label at the time.
And then the text that ended it all arrived one day.
It included a hashtag that literally made me flinch. It was just so unexpected that it had to have been made in jest. Just to make sure, I mentioned it to my mother because I still run things by my mom. She expressed much concern and suggested I politely bow out.
Which I didn’t because it’s my mom, and I thought she was overreacting.
So, I sat on the issue until I casually brought it up to two friends whose opinions I also trust. Their reaction was on par with a nuclear explosion. I was told—yes, told—to get out of that group for valid reasons upon which they expounded with love and not a little passion. I was stunned, and, I admit, I felt like an idiot.
But I’m so slick that I thought I’d just take a break, which I stated in the parting e-mail I sent to the other members. I said I was going to pursue other things and that my life was going in a different direction. I was wished well, and that was that.
Or so I thought.
I had every intention of rejoining the group after a couple months, and I planned on maintaining a connection via the group’s Facebook page. Adonai had other plans for me. I’d been told twice by three different people of the potential dangers, and still I thought I could fly under Adonai’s radar.
What finally got through to me was being immediately deleted from the Facebook group. While it hurt on the surface, it was the one rap on the head that made me understand in my heart that there was no foundation with what I’d been involved. I heard Adonai tell me, “I don’t want you there. You are not going back.”
I realized I’d been lying to myself about the other things I said I was going to pursue. Things of a much deeper, lasting nature. I felt so convicted that I took the different path that, for a short time, seemed as if it routed me away from my interest and, in truth, landed me right back where I longed to be with a better understanding of how to pursue my desires.
I wish the members of the group well, and I hope they achieve real success in every aspect of their lives. I certainly bear them no ill will. There’s no reason to, especially since I can look back and see how far I’ve come by walking through the doors Adonai has opened for me instead of banging on the ones He closed.